As I sit here drinking a camp cup filled with red wine, alone, I am left to contemplate vanlife as a single individual. Tonight I spent a couple of hours with my vanfriend Amy, with whom I am doing some work with down here in San Juan Capistrano. The topic of love and relationships was the main course tonight, and we delved into it fairly deep.
Her and I have different problems, but in some ways similar ones. She is dating a guy back in Oregon and is dealing with what life on the road means for a relationship. I am dealing with what it means to be single out on the road – which is really what this blog article is about.
I have been asked, more than a couple times, about how I deal with being alone out here on the road. In all honesty, I will admit it is not my preference. I would much more prefer to have a partner in crime in these travels. That being said, finding love when constantly on the move, and furthermore, when living in a van, really narrows the dating pool.
So what does one do? First, clearly, one sits around drinking some wine and contemplates their life choices. Two, one realizes that they are enough. YOU are enough. Yes, would it be nice to have someone else along for the adventure? Sure, but they are not, and should not, be a requirement. A significant other should be a bonus feature of your life, not the reason for it.
There are times of loneliness out on the road, just as there is when one lives in a house. We are simple beings, beings that need human contact and interaction. I am, generally speaking, an introvert. Being out the road is challenging for a person who, for the most part, really doesn’t want to meet new people. Out here, that simply is not an option. If one doesn’t interact with others, I honestly believe you will go insane – at the very least have long conversations with one’s dog; I haven’t gotten there yet, give me time.
In the past month I have met multiple couples who have been traveling in a van together for long periods of time. Part of me was blown away at the idea of sharing such a small space with another person for such a long time. I think that is how you know you found “the one” though. If you find a person who can live in 75 ft2, for more than a week, then you have found true love.
So, if you are single and thinking that finding a partner is difficult, just think about what it would be like to be single and living in a van. See, it’s all comparative. So you, like me, needs to get on with it and realize that if you are doing what you love, love will find you… hopefully 😉